LYMANSVILLE GLEANER ~ APRIL HIGHLIGHTS

THE LYMANSVILLE GLEANER ~ “Ferreting Out the Truth Since 1784!”

Dispatches from Lymansville ~ April Edition

 

LYMANSVILLE CELEBRATES FOUNDING

Lymansvillians young and old—once again, and as they annually do—gathered to celebrate Lymansville Day on April 16th. This year, local bands Lit Little and the Lizards and Wee Winkie and the Wonkas were given quite a run for their money by a new group in town, the Round & Round Pebbles—a Rolling Stones cover band formed by TCOL sophomores: Jimena “Flame” Sparks, Rollo Jenkins, Bert Washington, and Roy Gondolier—who earned four encores and brought the crowd to a screaming frenzy. While there were no departures from the customary Lymansville Day menu, there was a refreshing addition to the usual beverage offerings (limeade and “Harland’s Brew”) in the form of Clem Clemson’s Tange-lime-berry soda stand. Al Morgan won the Scullery Pie eating tournament—a first for Mr. Morgan; his wife Kit narrowly walked away with the blue ribbon in the casserole competition for her tuna and fresh green pea casserole, beating out The Gleaner’s own Dale Mason’s broccoli, bacon, and cheese; in a stunning upset, the Vásquez family triumphed in the potato sack racing contest over reigning champions, the Papadapoulous family; and the Dunce was dunked a record total of 237 times. James “Jimmy” Newton Rondy was the Dunce—for the sixth year in row.

WWOL SPRING DRIVE COMMENCES 

On April 5th, Wireless Waves Over Lymansville (WWOL) commenced with its annual spring drive. The official launch of the fundraising drive was preceded by a pre-launch fundraising drive and followed by a post-fundraising drive—both, while unofficial, have become time-honored WWOL traditions. “We like to give everyone ample time to get their donations in,” Ham Lowry, station director and host of “Ham in the Morning,” said. “You know, you’ve got your die-hards—who give early; your right-on-timers—who prefer to participate in the official drive; and your scatterbrains—who make it in just under the wire.” Mr. Lowry reported that donations exceeded their expectations and put them well above their projected goal. “It’s always the tote-bags that seal the deal,” he said. WWOL began broadcasting in 1924, and was started by Mr. Lowry’s great-great-grandmother Millicent “Jacks” Lowry, nee Waneek. Support for WWOL comes from listeners like you and is funded in part by endowments from the estate of Diane and Lytton Dunham and the Lymansville News & Cultural Foundation. 

A UKULELE STAR IS BORN

On Friday, April 9th, Norman Wilson’s annual “Build a Uke with Norman!” workshop came to a conclusion on South Green in spectacular fashion—though due to the threat of rain, things were touch-and-go right up to the scheduled start time. Thankfully, Mother Nature held off her impending hissy-fit until later in the evening, allowing the workshop attendees to show off their self-constructed ukuleles, as well as their newly honed strumming skills. Accompanied by the TCOLPS sixth-grade madrigal singers, the eight workshop attendees jammed out a roaring rendition of the Creedence Clearwater Revival classic “Bad Moon Rising” with impressive gusto. But the clear star of the show was Phillip “Clem” Clemson, who brought the Green down with a solo in the final verse. “Who knew that at 52, I’d pick up an instrument and have it just click right away? I’m as surprised as anyone,” Mr. Clemson—who holds a degree in Victorian literature and owns Clem’s Market—said after the show, adding, “It’s a pretty righteous feeling.” The workshop lasted five weeks and included beginner ukulele-playing lessons. Refreshments for the event were generously provided by Sweet’s Café.

LYMANSVILLE PREPARES FOR ANNUAL TALENT SHOW 

Once again, it’s talent show time in Lymansville. Registration opened on April 18th for the annual event, which will be held at the end of May. Lymansville Talent Show coordinator Titus Packham (director of the community theatre and adjunct theatre professor at TCOL) assures that this year, the show will bigger than ever. “We’ve already had record sign-ups. And judging from the acts, I can tell you that the talents of my fellow Lymansvillians are sweeping in variety.” Mr. Packham then added, with a twinkle in his eye, “I don’t want to spoil any surprises, but I think everyone’s going to be tremendously impressed.” Sign-up sheets are located in Mr. Packham’s office in the fine arts building at TCOL. All are welcome, though Mr. Packham did stress that, “Participants must give themselves proper rehearsal time. It’s not some half court press, folks—this is the big leagues.” The show will be held at the Lymansville Community Playhouse, date TBA.    

WEST THOROUGHFARE DEFACED BY VANDALS

Sometime during the wee-hours on the night of April 28th, West Thoroughfare (between Bellamy’s Bakery and Hermes & Electra’s Shoe Repair) was spray-painted with invidious language, and an attempt was made to “fork” South Green. Limb Clackmannan (owner of Limb’s Landscaping) discovered the scene at 7AM when he arrived to give the Greens their weekly mow. “For starters, whoever did this can’t spell,” Mr. Clackmannan said, referring to the graffiti, which read, “LIBERS GO HOME!” “If they were trying to disparage us Lymansvillians, the correct spelling would be ‘l-i-b-b-e-r.’ A ‘liber’ is a phloem—and that just doesn’t make any sense.” Mr. Clackmannan, who earned an MFA in botany from the College of Physical Sciences at TCOL, informed The Gleaner that a phloem, or liber, is a component of the vascular system of plants. “Second, we are home, dumbasses. And third, it was about the lamest forking job I’ve ever seen. I mean, you have to stick the forks in the ground to do any damage for Pete’s sake—not just throw them on the grass.” At a press conference later in the day, Sheriff Sheldon Broadchurch had this to say, “Based on past experiences, we’re pretty clear this was the work of some Granton Springsians. I put in a call to Chief Jessup over there, and—despite having his hands full, as you can imagine—he’s promised to inform me should he come across the scallywags responsible. In the meantime, we’ll be doubling patrols of the Green for the next few nights.” When reached for comment, Current Person in Charge (CPIC) Deb Dunham spoke frankly on the matter. “Granton Springs, unfortunately, seems to churn out a great number of garbage people. While it may not be all of them, those who behave badly should be called out as such—otherwise, we’re condoning said ill behavior. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck and shits all over your lovingly cultivated front lawn like a duck—then it’s probably a duck. I’m sure their tiny-mindedness stems from some sort of misplaced fear, but we just don’t have time for that—find a good therapist and work it out.” Mrs. Dunham then added, “And, really, we’re not that liberal—you can’t spit here in Lymansville, and the punishment is actually quite harsh.” Lyle Macciano (owner of Macciano’s Hardware) graciously agreed to remove the graffiti with his state-of-the-art pressure washing system—at no charge to the town; the plastic forks were collected by the TCOLPS first-graders, under the guidance of their teacher, Mr. Hugh. The mayor of Granton Springs declined The Gleaner’s request for a comment.

Definitive Facts & History ~ Lymansville, USA

“DID YOU KNOW…?”

Proudly brought to you by the Lymansville Gleaner Editorial Staff

THE LYMANSVILLE GLEANER ~ “Ferreting Out the Truth Since 1784!”

THE FOUNDING OF TCOL:

It was on January 17th of 1797 that the construction of The College of Lymansville officially commenced. The College of Lymansville (fondly referred to by all in town as TCOL, but pronounced “COL”—the “T” is silent) began informally in 1792 as a college of letters with lectures and discussions held in private homes. From there it expanded swiftly into a forum for those that wanted to share and learn applicable expertise in various fields. “The evolution of TCOL was, and continues to be, a marvel. It’s a true testament to the idea that the integration of learning into the comfort of common social interaction can lead to the ultimate success of a sphere of scholarship,” said Talia Spencer (current Chair of the College of Social Sciences) when asked about the early years of TCOL. “I mean, everything’s more fun when it doesn’t feel like you’re being force-fed a peanut butter and sardine sandwich, right?”

Now a full-fledged university (as it offers a collection of degrees), TCOL boasts five colleges under its banner: the College of Physical Sciences, the College of Social Sciences, the College of Small Business Development and Management, the College of Tillage and Husbandry, and the College of Letters, Languages, and Fine Arts.

TCOL is run collectively by the chairs of each college and funded, in most part, by an endowment generously provided by the Brighton family. While small and fairly unknown, TCOL is considered very prestigious and currently enrolls seventy undergraduate and fifteen graduate minds each year.

Fun facts:

~ The library was the first structure built on the campus.

~ TCOL has always been a fully co-ed and unsegregated institution.

~ The original “Stan the Pig” (TCOL’s mascot) was a wild pig that wandered into a tillage lesson that Emeline Geoffrey was teaching in her barn in 1795. Emeline was so taken with the porcine creature that she tamed it, named it Stanley, and it remained a beloved family pet until its death seventeen years later.

~ The TCOL motto, “Nos Creare Intelligentes Civium,” roughly translates to, “We Make Smart People.”

TRANSPORTATION IN LYMANSVILLE:

When interviewed by the Lymansville Gleaner in 1921 regarding the explosion of the automobile craze, Moss Flick famously remarked, “Even an eastern wild turkey would know they didn’t need a car here in Lymansville—hell, it only takes an average of six minutes to walk anywhere in town from anywhere else in town!”

At the time, many Lymansvillians agreed with the usually demure toy-store owner. But as the years passed and Lymansville expanded, many jumped on the bandwagon. Today, roughly 70% of households in Lymansville have an automobile. They are rarely used, however, and when they are, it is predominantly to drive to the docks at Lake Saponi; haul loads from Horshack’s Farm & Nursery (not to be confused with Horshack’s Garden Center—off Town Green); run out to one of the farms: Brighton’s Dairy, Geoffrey Farms, or Widdle’s Farmstead; or for the occasional trip to Walksburg.

In 1968, to ensure that Lymansville would never face an over-abundance of automobiles—and therefore the pesky side effects coming to light around the country such as traffic and poor air quality—Ordinance #42 was added to the Lymansville Bylaws stating that “No household shall obtain and/or maintain an excess of 1 automobile. No business shall exceed the number of vehicles needed to legitimately operate said business as proven to, fairly assessed by, and voted on by a Town Forum.” Ordinance #42.1 quickly followed, stating, “No, you cannot claim household vehicles as business vehicles for the purposes of obtaining and/or maintaining an excess of 1 household vehicle.” This was followed by Ordinance #42.2: “So don’t even try.” The ordinances were voted on and passed almost unanimously by a Town Forum with Strobe Talmadge I being the lone dissenter on all three.

Walking and bicycling continue to be the typically preferred modes of transportation for Lymansvillians. For day-to-day errands—such as trips to Clem’s Market, Horshack’s Garden Center, and/or any of the many other purveyors of goods in town—every household in Lymansville has a wagon of the “little red” variety. Two wagon parking lots accommodate wagon parking—one at the southwest corner of Town Green (outside Clem’s Market) and one at the southeast corner of Town Green (by the First Bank of Lymansville). There is one taxi service in town (Myron’s Taxi Service—owned by one Myron Rosengarten), which boasts a fleet of three cabs. Myron’s Taxi Service services all of Wickett County—though they predominantly operate in and around Lymansville proper—and will make runs to and from the train station in Walksburg for a flat fee. 

Fun Facts:

~ Upon moving to Lymansville with his family in 1838, Archibald Talmadge opened Talmadge Wagon & Carriage Manufacturing & Repair, which still services Lymansville today under the banner Talmadge Auto-Repair, and is owned and operated by Strobe Talmadge II, Archibald’s great-great-great-great-great-great-son. Talmadge Auto-Repair is Lymansville’s only, and preeminent, auto repair shop.

~ The most typically spotted wagons in Lymansville are classic Radio-Flyers.

BIRTH OF A TOWN MOTTO:

On January 6th, 1749, the citizens of Lymansville (then, the village of Wickett’s Peak) collectively decided on a Community Motto: the Latin word, “Sit.” Researched and put forth to a Village Forum by Pell Brighton (eldest son of founding village member Gillum Brighton), the motto was intended to express the idea, “Let it be.” It remained “Sit” until 26 years ago when Jubal Brighton discovered that “Let it be” had been somewhat inaccurately translated by his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather. Upon this discovery, Jubal put forth a more definitive translation to a Town Forum: “Permissum Is Exsisto.” The motto was officially changed by an almost unanimous vote (with Strobe Talmadge II being the lone dissenter) on the very anniversary of the original vote in 1749.

Fun Facts:

~Even though the motto was changed to “Permissum Is Exsisto,” “Sit” remains included in the call and response that brings every Town Forum to order.

~ The official flag of Lymansville bears both the date of Lymansville’s founding, as well as the updated town motto.

{The Lymansville Gleaner would like to extend special thanks to Quentin Brighton (current Curator of the Museum of Lymansville and board member of the Lymansville Historical Society) for sharing his expertise and extensive knowledge of all things Lymansville with our editorial staff.}

Lymansville Gleaner ~ March Highlights

THE LYMANSVILLE GLEANER ~ “Ferreting Out the Truth Since 1784!”

Dispatches from Lymansville ~ March Edition

GSH ONCE AGAIN CAUSES MISCHIEF AT SPORTING EVENT

As has come to be a regular occurrence when The College of Lymansville Preparatory School (TCOLPS) faces off with Granton Springs High (GSH) in sporting events, the GSH students—once again—caused mischief. At the March 16th basketball game between our own Lymansville Piglets and the GSH Honey Badgers, Dan Demmings (point guard for the Honey Badgers) pushed Persephone Papadapoulous (center for TCOLPS) to the court floor for no apparent reason, leaving referee Nathan Landrieu no choice but to issue a technical foul to Mr. Demmings. Mr. Demmings then cursed at Ref. Landrieu, at which point Ref. Landrieu issued a second technical foul and removed Mr. Demmings from the game. As he left the court, Mr. Demmings was heard complaining about the TCOLPS P.E. Department policy of gender integration in all their sports teams, saying, “This is why girls need to stay in their place. They can’t handle playing serious sports with us guys.” In an interview following the game, TCOLPS Piglets co-coach Val Vischevsky said, “There’s always something nefarious with these Granton Springs kids.” Co-coach Vischevsky’s co-coach, Cy Vischevsky, added, “We stand behind our gender integrated sports teams policy one hundred percent. I’ve informed Coach Miller (coach of the GSH Honey Badgers), that Mr. Demmings is no longer welcome here at our home games. I’ve just had it up to here with all the malarkey. If I had my way, I’d recommend to the regional sports director that they be kicked out of the league entirely.” In a last minute development to this story, deputies Tilda McGregor and Stanley Limpet of LPD told The Gleaner that they discovered Mr. Demmings and some of his teammates shot-gunning a six-pack of light beer while urinating on the dumpsters behind the TCOLPS gym. Deputies McGregor and Limpet returned the boys to Coach Miller and issued citations for the public urination. No arrests were made.   

MONTHLY WEATHER IN A NUTSHELL

After a tempestuous and rollercoaster February, Lymansville saw relatively average weather conditions in March. According to Beekman Lipchitz, professor of meteorology at The College of Lymansville (TCOL), “Notably, March was not a noteworthy month—from a meteorological standpoint. We made notations of cold days, cool days, rainy days, and sunny days. It’s worth noting, however, that a month of un-notable weather can often denote systems of notoriety—as we saw three years ago.” Professor Lipchitz is, of course, referring to “The Great August Deluge.” Keep sharp, Lymansvillians, we could be in for a doozy of an April.  

WWOL ANNOUNCES WINNERS OF ANNUAL CHILDREN’S CONTEST

Local radio station, Wireless Waves Over Lymansville (WWOL), announced the winners of “When I Grow Up,” its annual contest for kids grades K - 5. Over 90 children from both Miss Betty’s Nursery & Kindergarten and TCOLPS submitted entries expressing what they had planned for the future. In a shocking upset—and for the first time in the contest’s history—first, second, and third prizes were all awarded to kindergarteners, leaving TCOLPS in the dust. First place went to Missouri Magpie Morgan, who wants to “Wear a cape and be the boss of thunderstorms”; second place went to Gerald “Bruce” Mason, whose goal is to be the first Indian-American member of The Rolling Stones; and third place went to Fuller Vásquez, who plans to knit sweaters for otters—but “only for the otter pups—not the grown-ups.” TCOLPS principal, Mr. Marc had this to say, “Clearly the TCOLPS students were given a run for their money. Of course we’re disappointed, but the ambition and aspiration of the incoming 1st grade class is undeniable. We look forward to exciting things from them when they join us next fall.”

CLIMATE CHANGE: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

A Lymansville Gleaner Special Investigative Report

Rising sea levels, hostile weather systems, and volatile temperatures. Glaciers melting like ice cream on an August afternoon and wildfires raging like lost footage from Backdraft. Disastrous droughts and acerbic air pollution, wildlife and ecosystems in a perilous position, and agriculture on the brink. Is the health of humanity almost out of time? The effects of climate change (known in some circles as “Global Warming”) are real, dire, and as Dr. Emilia Cullpepper (head of the new Department of Climate Restoration at the College of Physical Sciences at TCOL) told us, “Scarier than a pissed off crocodile.” But little-known to many outside our little corner of the world, Lymansville has been—and continues to be—on the front lines of fighting this existential threat to our planet. Almost 95% of Lymansvillians utilize the town’s recycling services, maintain their own compost systems (or use Calvin’s Compost Collective), and have installed rain barrels on their properties. According to Josh and Boswell Ogilvie (owners of Ogilvie Heating & Air), over 70% of Lymansville homes and businesses run on energy saving HVAC units; Brighton’s Dairy, Widdle’s Farmstead, and Geoffrey Farms now have dedicated solar panel fields that feed the Lymansville power-grid; and Gin Sweet, ranking member of the recently formed Lymansville Disaster Management Task Force (LDMTF), assures that, “As cranky as Mother Nature’s going to get—and believe me, I don’t begrudge her having her knickers in a twist, what with all the taking for granted and ignorant exploitation—Lymansville is ready.” Keep up the good work, Lymansvillians—we’ve got this!

OBITUARY

Lymansville Bids A Fond Farewell To Simile Morehouse  

Lymansville native Simile Jane Morehouse passed peacefully in her home on the morning of March 12th at the age of 87. She was found shortly after breakfast by her nurse Rose Church (known to most in town as “Church”). “She seemed raring to go when I brought her breakfast—her usual: one sunny side up, thick bacon, and cinnamon toast,” Church said. “But when I went back to clear up, she was just shriveled down over her plate like a limp bougainvillea vine—just as dead as a doornail—rest her sweet soul.” According to her grandson Navy, Mrs. Morehouse had suffered an “incident” the week before, but after numerous tests, both Dr. Fleming and Dr. Drummond concluded that Mrs. Morehouse was in perfect health aside from the usual that comes with being, “as old as time.” “Mom and I had talked with her about moving to the rest home in Walksburg in case there was another ‘event’,” Navy said. “I think Nana Simile wasn’t too thrilled about that idea, so she just thought, ‘I’ve lived, I’m done—I’m out.’” Mrs. Morehouse and her husband, David, took over the Morehouse family business (The High Note) 59 years ago, and upon Mr. Morehouse’s death, Mrs. Morehouse passed it on to their daughter, Minki, who now runs the music store with her son, Navy. Mrs. Morehouse also taught music at both TCOLPS and TCOL through the years. “Simile was quite the force and will be missed,” Norman Wilson (current chair of the music department at TCOL) said. “I never saw anyone rock a didgeridoo quite like she did.” Mrs. Morehouse is survived by her daughter and son-in-law, Minki Morehouse and Lund Glover of Lymansville; her son and son-in-law, Handel Morehouse and Jon Tillis-Morehouse of Bedford, NY; and five grandchildren: Navy Glover Morehouse, Simile Jane Morehouse II, Jock Tillis-Morehouse, and twins Ruby and Reid Tillis-Morehouse. The funeral service was held on March 24th at the Lymansville Ecclesiastical Lyceum (LEL) and was officiated by Bess Hinky. Mrs. Morehouse was buried next to her husband at the Lymansville Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, Mrs. Morehouse asked that donations be made to the music department at TCOLPS.       

LYMANSVILLE GLEANER ~ February Highlights

THE LYMANSVILLE GLEANER ~ “Ferreting Out the Truth Since 1784!”

Dispatches from Lymansville ~ February Edition

UNANIMOUS VOTE ON BIKE RACK

Vital Information Brought To Light By Local Businessman

A Town Forum was called to vote on the new bike rack for the southeast corner of Town Green. The subject specifically pertained to what materials would be used to construct the new rack. Many argued that the use of scrap-steel would be most environmentally friendly from a recycling perspective. In a surprise twist, Denton Shiff—of Shiff’s Scrap Metal, and who would have been a beneficiary of the choice to use scrap-steel—pointed out the energy consumption of the welding equipment and endorsed using repurposed wood. The vote was almost unanimous in favor of wood with Strobe Talmadge as the lone dissenter. Current Person in Charge (CPIC) Deb Dunham had this to say, “We’re all grateful to Denton for his insight and for taking one for the team. Of course, a unanimous decision would’ve been ideal, but no one was surprised by Strobe’s vote.” 

UKE CAN LELE!

Norman Wilson kicked off his annual “Build a Uke with Norman!” workshop. This year saw a spike in attendance from three to eight, prompting Norman to move the ukulele-construction event from his office in the fine arts building on The College of Lymansville (TCOL) campus to one of the music practice halls. The workshop will last five weeks and includes beginner ukulele-playing lessons. It will end with a special performance of the Creedence Clearwater Revival classic “Bad Moon Rising” played by workshop attendees and accompanied by The College of Lymansville Preparatory School (TCOLPS) sixth-grade madrigal singers. Date and time TBA. All are welcome.

LITERATURE’S CRITTERS

The library’s Sunday night seminar series kicked off what will be a three-part series on the role of animals in literature. Highlighted texts include Legends of the Fall by Jim Harrison, Jaws by Peter Benchley, and Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White. All who participate will enjoy a special viewing of the library’s prized, and true, first edition of Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne. Macy Brighton (head librarian) will lead the series, assisted by head assistant librarian, Walter Morgan. Refreshments for the first night of the series were provided by Sweet’s Café.

MONTHLY WEATHER IN A NUTSHELL

After a blizzard early in the month, the weather turned unseasonably balmy with highs soaring to 62°F. But the torrential storm system the night of Thursday, February 21st caused temperatures to plummet below 30°F and remain in the high 20s for the remainder of the month. Buckle up, folks—climate change is going to take us on quite a ride. *For information on what you can do to help, see our special investigative report “Climate Change: What You Need To Know” in next month’s edition.

STORM UPSETS LOCAL HOUND

There was an attempted jailbreak by Floyd Fenster’s redbone hound “Skeeter” at the Lymansville Animal Clinic (LAC). Skeeter was in for de-worming after he consumed an entire dead mole out by Smiling Creek. The head of LAC, Harvin Blessing, DMV (known in town as, “Doc B”), issued the following statement. “Miles Dutton was the tech on duty that night and gained control of the situation in a timely, calm, and professional manner—they train them well over at the College of Tillage and Husbandry at TCOL. We believe Skeeter was agitated by Thursday night’s storm. He’s home with Mr. Fenster now, and I’m told he’s doing just fine.”

HORSHACK’S EASES WORRY ABOUT SPRING BLOOM

Both Horshack’s Garden Center and Horshack’s Nursery saw a deluge of panicked residents expressing concern for the health of the many local hydrangea bushes that had sprouted buds during the warm spell that preceded the sudden deep freeze. Calvin Horshack issued a statement assuring that the spring bloom would not be affected due to the fact that 90% of the town’s hydrangeas are firmly established plants. Lymansville local James (known to most as “Jimmy”) Newton Rondy was not assuaged. “That might be just dunky-hory [sic] for some people, but I’ve got 3 young bushes I put in last spring—what happens to them? I guess it’s just a game of hide-and-seek [sic] now. I’ll tell you though, I’ll be waiting on bated breath [sic] come April.”

Lymansville "At a Glance" Proudly brought to you by the Lymansville Gleaner Editorial Staff



“In 1921, Professor Emeritus of anthropology at TCOL, Hinky Dunham, Sr., remarked, ‘The greatest feat of my beloved Lymansville is that it remains the most marvelous paradox. Nowhere else have I witnessed such a whimsical devotion to tradition intertwined with an equivalent openness to evolution. I believe the genius lies in curiosity, and I shall leave it there for now.”

Lymansville is an incorporated town in the United States, originally established as the village of Wickett’s Peak in 1748; Lymansville was re-named as such (officially) in 1776.

CURRENT POPULATION: Lymansville Proper (excluding college students): 1,728; College students (undergraduate and graduate): 320; Surrounding (within county lines): 102; Total Population: 2,150

AREA: Lymansville Proper: 1.28 sq mi (3.31 km2); Surrounding (within county lines): 3.42 sq mi (8.85 km2); Wickett County: 5.38 sq mi (13.93 km2)

WEATHER: Avg. rainfall: 39 in. 990.6mm; Avg. snowfall: 46 in. 1168.4mm; Avg. temp: 51°F/10.5°C (Fall), 36°F 2.2°C (Winter), 64°F 17.7°C (Spring), 82°F 27.7°C (Summer)

GOVERNMENT: Open town forum with Current Person in Charge (CPIC)—chosen at random every year—acts as: Coordinator of town business, Overseer of Town Forums, Tiebreaker for votes if necessary. Current CPIC, Deb Dunham—preceded by Zinnia Perkins

EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS: Miss Betty’s Nursery-to-Kindergarten (Mascot: Neville the Newt), The College of Lymansville Preparatory School (TCOLPS) (Mascot: Stanley the Piglet), The College of Lymansville (TCOL) (Mascot: Stan the Pig)

LYMANSVILLE INDUSTRY: Agriculture: Geoffrey Farms, Widdles Farmstead, Brighton Dairy Farm, Horshack’s Nursery; Production/Exporting: Sorple (a Sorghum and Maple syrup hybrid); College of Tillage and Husbandry at TCOL: Maintains consulting contracts with the Department of Agriculture for the development of innovative farm practices

PARTICULARS: Town Motto: “Permissum Is Exsisto.” Town Crest: A newt perched on a book, seeds in one hand and an ear of corn in the other, protected by a hound. Lymansville Anthem: “Lymansville, oh Lymansville!” Written by Samulson Brighton, circa 1802

DID YOU KNOW?

In 1758, a Dr. Lyman Hall stayed briefly in Wickett’s Peak while traveling with his family from Connecticut to South Carolina. Dr. Hall went on to become one of the first Colonial Governors of Georgia and signed of the Declaration of Independence. In 1776, and in honor of this illustrious achievement, the name “Wickett’s Peak” was changed to “Lymansville.”

Lymansville was a stop on the Underground Railroad during the War Between the States.

Lymansville was settled and built with the cooperation of (and in harmony with) the indigenous people that lived in the area—members of the Tutelo-Saponi tribe, specifically of the turtle clan. The Waneek family—who still reside in Lymansville today—are direct descendants of those that helped settle the town.

Until recently, the only dog breed found in Lymansville was the Redbone hound. Every current hound is a descendant of “Athena,” Lymansville founder Gareth Geoffrey’s beloved Bloodhound. (Bloodhounds were eventually bred with Foxhounds to make Redbones.)

The three questions asked during the town vetting process are exactly as they have been since 1752: Do you have a skill to offer? Do you believe that one should live and let live, provided no one gets hurt? Do you like the winter holidays?

{This information was graciously provided to the Gleaner by the Lymansville Historical Society (LHS). It was originally compiled by Jubal Brighton (former Curator of the Museum of Lymansville and board member of LHS), and most recently updated by Quentin Brighton (current Curator of the Museum of Lymansville and board member of LHS).}